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Partner mediation is a way of peacefully resolving disputes, conflicts, disagreements and long-term vicious circles. The goal is a healthier, more satisfying mutual relationship in which you live well. Mediation because the Latin "mediare" means to be in the middle, i.e. to mediate.

The basis of mediation is that a third, independent person, the so-called mediator, enters between the parties, who becomes their intermediary to resolve disputed issues in the "maximum possible" manner, i.e. not in the form of a compromise, where each party makes concessions to its needs and requirements, but in such a way , so that both parties achieve the greatest possible satisfaction with the result.

A necessary condition for mediation is its voluntariness - none of the parties can be forced to participate in mediation in any way, and the person of the mediator must be completely impartial in the given matter.

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What is mediation?

Mediation is a process to which the actors decide voluntarily, the mediator is responsible for the process, and the actors themselves are responsible for the content of the process and its results. In addition to voluntariness, there are other principles that govern the mediation process. These are, for example, trust, cooperation, the search for new solutions, confidentiality, freedom of decision or neutrality. Mediation makes it possible to achieve that:

interests that would otherwise be ignored will be taken into account, the actual and emotional costs of resolving the situation will be reduced.

The goal of mediation

The goal of the mediation process is to resolve conflicts or long-term disagreements that meet the interests and needs of the individual parties. The goal is not to seek objective truth, but to find an agreement based on mutual cooperation.

The mediation method is based on the synthesis of parts of diverse disciplines. From a methodological point of view, these are primarily elements taken from the fields of conflict resolution and interpersonal communication. The main task of mediation is to bring the parties back to mutual communication. The mediator uses the methods of active listening, paraphrasing, reformulation, etc. This new form of communication is intended to ensure that the conflicting parties are able to separate the person and the thing from each other, accept the different needs and interests of the other party, and recognize possible distortions of reality.

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Mediation has many areas of use: family mediation (marital, multi-generational post-divorce disputes), civil mediation (neighbourhood, civil, labor disputes; disputes between tenants and owners), corporate mediation (labor law disputes; disputes between management, between management and owner), commercial mediation (quality of products, services provided, complaints), political mediation, school mediation and others.

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How does partner mediation usually take place?

Over the years, various models describing the individual stages of the mediation process have been created. Although these stages vary from model to model, we can identify the following five stages for most of them:

Initiation of mediation – First of all, the conflicting parties are familiar with the mediation method and the role and behavior of the mediator, especially with his impartiality. The goal is to obtain a certain structure of the entire upcoming process and gain the trust of clients.

Gathering information - At the beginning of the second phase, each party presents what their points of conflict and wishes are so that the topics and areas of conflict can be collected and structured for the purpose of further processing. The goal is to find out what the problem is and collect the necessary data.

Understanding Attitudes and Interests - In the third stage, the actual processing of the problem begins by deciding which of the topics will be addressed first. Each party is then given the opportunity to express their view on each of the conflicting topics identified earlier in the second phase. What is important in this phase is the transition from positions to the interests behind these positions. Finally, solutions can be proposed that are fair and meaningful to the conflicting parties from their point of view.

Search for solutions (creative phase) – First, possible solutions to individual conflict areas are collected, for example, according to the rules of brainstorming, i.e. without the right to an evaluation. Only then are the individual options evaluated by the conflicting parties. The result should satisfy all parties to the conflict.

Conclusion of an agreement – An agreement is possible, but not a necessary outcome in partnership mediation. Here, too, the following mediation rules can be applied: the agreed points should be stated in such a way that it is clear how they will be met. The form should allow evaluation and measurability of performance. The written agreement should also state the procedure in case of non-performance. If it is not possible to come to a common solution, a "disagreement" agreement is drawn up at the end of the process.

The frequency of mediation sessions is very individual, but a shift usually occurs after three or more sessions,   which last from two to three hours.

What is my role as a partner mediator?

A mediator is a professional who intervenes between the parties to a dispute. The mediator helps the parties to the dispute to understand each other's positions, to get below their surface, to recognize the deeper needs and interests of each of the parties, and on their basis helps to "build" a new agreement, taking into account the possibilities and limits of each party. With specific techniques, he suppresses or, on the contrary, "allows" difficult emotions to boil over and gradually brings the parties to a state where they are able to perceive (hear) each other, (again) engage reason and the ability to understand "how the other is feeling". This moment is also called the "aha effect". Its achievement is a huge relief not only for the parties, but also for the mediator. During the entire process, the mediator facilitates communication and helps the parties in finding alternatives to their initially "only possible" or absent solution.